If you don't try to go after what you want, you'll regret,
If you don't try to ask, the answer is always unrevealed .

If you don't step forward, you're always in the same place

so I go after what i wanted
so I asked
so I took a step forward

but i think i would rather stay in the same place as before.
i shouldn't...

虽然我愿意

请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手

为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你
虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意

就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意
心还想着你

-----A very nice song.

i always wanted an elder sister
i really want...
i envy ppl who has elder sister

one who can dote on me
one who at least have that little care for me
someone to talk to
share my probs, happiness, sadness
give me a hug when i'm down
comfort me in times
play with me
when i cant get into slp
sleeping in the same room
jokes and little secrets
going out together
sharing the many things
take care of me


this had been in my heart for some time

i'm not a touchy person
but i just love the feel of holding ur hand
but not many times
we get the chance holding hands
but everytime
ur hand in mine
it never fails to give me the sisterly feel
that i always were looking for
so protected
so comfortable
not anyone can give me this feeling
but u did.

Still remember,
the trip,
during the performance
backstage where lots of ppl
we needed to pass through to get to the other side of the stage
u grabbed my hand
and lead me safely to the place that we need to standby
pushing through the lots of people
still hand in hand
i'm touched
seriously.

Maybe u felt nothing but
that little act
it really warms my heart
and means something to me.

i wont tell u in person
cos i dunno how to put this across
and maybe is this
that made me care a little more about u

Today quite good mood.
Are u good mood too, Noheartgirl?
cos i played quite alot with u.
I always like to have the little argues with you.
Dun wanna to loose to you when we argue.
Always there cheng qiang-ing...
then give those faces.. Haha
Think is so much fun.
Nice nite but tiring.
U have a good nite.

3 days, 2 nites at Sentosa.

FUN and Happening!

Played Uno stacko
i always kena the draw 2..
thanks to yq la..
always her turn she take draw 2..
and she saved the stacko from collapsing
which is foul lor
should collapse during her turn le
then in the end i survived
and there goes the stacko during jh's turn
no more to pull out le
the stacko already so shaky and shld collapse before that.

then dinner at Sakae Izakaya,
along Along Siloso Beach.
the nice sea breeze and the nice sunset
played with the water and sand before dinner
take pictures on the beach.
then itchy during dinner..
Nice dinner
nice place.

and Songs of the sea.
in the queue waiting for entrance
so long and crowded
playing tian xia wu di
madness... i win on ground.
The show,
Ah ah ah ah, ah ah ah ah ah...
the nice laser works and the lightning and the fireworks
i really enjoyed the show plus having someone beside me.
u are the girl with the curly hair and i'm the cute puffy fish.. hahas
i dream to be the composer of the fireworks and the water splashes and the music.
i wanna dance on the sea.

Then play Taboo in the room.
That's completely madness and craziness
think the whole chalet gonna collapse with our laughters..
Taboo Taboo rules.
Sh was really crazy
keep having funny actions and keep staring at the hour glass
and press the noisy red pump thingy
to stop the people when time's up.
that was really big fun and laughters
that cant be stopped
laughed till stomach pain
and jh thanks for being so excited till elbowed me on my arm
pain pain..

then go back to own rooms,
the 4 of us
total craziness
take all kinds of funny pics
got sexy, got idiot got many la..
then wishing everyone goodnite in our chinese name
cos the other 3 all chinese name
only me got english name
so must say all chinese diao..
starting from me
jing tong slp, mz slp, ws slp, qj slp
all too high and crazy lor
then could not get into sleep,
turn on tv,
then air con too cold
but then lazy to get up to turn off
then cant slp..
morning first thing,
get up,
turn off air con!
and send ws off to work..

the sky ride and the Luge!
i think i love speeding.
the wind blowing at my face and the thrill of going down the slop at high speed!
i must be a reckless driver if i drive..
but i love the freedom riding and controlling around the curve roads.
i enjoy both the day and the nite one..
nite one more scary and challenging..

Playing Frisbee on the hot sand and the blazing sun,
running all around,
anyhow throw,
then anyhow run for a place
then the 3 of them had to do forfeit
so damn funny
then jh and me picking sticks and start fighting
as if the sticks were swords.
then broken liao become
shuang jie gun
we are crazy la.
like dat also can play lor...
i love the beaches.

Then lunch at delifrance
nice meal..
nice ice lemon tea that can be refilled..
nice dessert...

then some went for the fish flexology
and me, mz, ca went on our own to somewhere near the merlion there where there is this long stretch of colourful moasiac tiles with little fountain and splashing water
we walked till the end of the stretch in the water
the whole stretch
we also got water flexology leh
hahahas...

then walked the suspension bridge at palawan beach
waiting for u all to come
u all took so so so long to come!
we took the tramp like travel so many stops le around Sentosa
and took many pictures using mz cute 'robot' cam
jumping at the beach
splashing water
got ourselves wet
and wrote a big twisties word on the sand and still waiting for u all grand arrival
then we saw u all coming
and hide behind the bushes and trees
but being spotted by our perfect eyesight sh...
cos mz's bright pink shorts..

then together at the beach
taking lots of photos
jumping here and there
staying in the air where the camera snaps..
doing the twisties cheer together in the middle of the beach
simply crazy when all the girls get together...
lots of laughters...

Then swimming in the pool downstairs of chalet room at nite...
playing frisbee on sand in the hot day not enough,
Play in pool somemore at nite
then i become the monkey for many times...
drank pool water lor..
then got 'scolded' by the management uncle there
he said others need to Zzz but duh..
was like only 9 plus if not wrong
chalet where got so early slp
u no chalet b4 ah, uncle...
cos we got too loud with all our happy laughters
and the happily throwing and snatching of frisbee
i'm the monkey
short short monkey in the pool somemore
difficult to snatch the frisbee lor
Then song of the pool that we created after the Songs of the sea show in the swimming pool!
then play tian xia wu di in pool,
then got the bao zhuo
who wins who sits.
and i completely lost.
cant react in water man
retarded...

then wait for turn to bathe
so cold in the room had to wait outside of the room..
hungry also..

then a little surprise bday celebration at cafe del mar for our bday gal, jh
but the cake already put in the fridge where the bday gal's room was
cos no space le.
then i think she saw also la
then need to take the cake out
had to ask sue to lure her away for awhile
thanks sue
then when all ready
All on way to the cafe
while me, qj and mz went to take the cake and presents
walked behind them
joined them later
but then the ultimate was the ben ben waiter come to ask did we leave a bday cake with them?
so loud somemore..
wah laos..
obviously our bday gal heard it la...
then no surprise lor..
anyway i think is the thoughts that counts la..
celebrating with u at the strike of 12 midnite..
i nvr had this kind of celebration b4
i will be touched if this happens..
hope u love the celebration?
then play the frog game
i cant concentrate at all
person who say wrongly
has to eat 1 mouth of the last piece of cake
then i always loose track what i should say during my turn..
so i hav to eat lor..
dunno how many mouths lor
like almost half the piece of cake is in my stomach
lols

Second nite of taboo
not so happening but still lots of laughters and funny things
est: rugby become ruby
red colour diamond,
expensive,
happily describing till finally realised wrong word
then become
a sport
red colour ball
the sound like ruby also etc...
Jh: fort canning become mount faber
can take cable car etc...
also happily describing till realise wrong also
hahas..
i wanna play taboo again!!!
Taboooooooooooo...............
and the fruit game and the cartoon character game
all the games suddenly so nice to play...

went back to own rooms
tired le
but others still continuing playing
but tonite my room mates changed cos some went home
so i shared with sue and jh
then sue scared of dark
and grabbed my arm..
no scared...
mas selemat here...
jh usual sleeping position,
need the wall
slp facing the wall...
good nite gals
hahas..

last day
watched TV in the morning
jh left first
cos her bday
must celebrate with her own frens
or ur special one
check out the 2 other rooms
left 1 room
then left bags at the reception there..
everyone too lazy to move
then finally decided to walk the dragon trail
so hot inside
and our dear fren sue,
so scared of spiders!
then went to eat lunch
then had dessert
so cold the air con
so faster finish the dessert
and went outside
sat there,
everyone like half gone and sleepy
wait for tramp..
we too hot till mind also crazy..
then we speak in china accent
then we got the kao goat's leg, kao rabbit's leg, kao horse leg, kao cow leg, kao dragon leg, kao etc.. others haven mention...
all is our zodiac la
then on way home
long way
mrt crowded
no place to sit
tired, sleepy, mind blank

Home sweet home
then i bought my bubble tea
in chalet no where sell
so first thing out of train and back to island,
my bubble tea waiting for me!

BUT

3 days like not enough
when having fun,
time is always not enough
but the memories and fun we had
will never be replaced?
i want play the games, i wanna go sentosa again, i wanna go to the beaches again
i want the sea view, breeze blowing on my face, the soft sand under my feet
the luge the everything!
all so beautiful.

i had so much laughters the 3 days.
Thanks everyone...

Seriously,
recently I think i'm abit detached from u all.
Even think that even if have me there or not, it does not make a diff.
People come and people go.
Everything will still go on as usual.
The circle of frens still the same.
The same few.
i never had been impt to anyone anywhere.
W/o my existence everything will all be the same.
Dun u think so?

Confused.
Moody.
Hoping.

Where should i head to?

Dear Noheartgirl,

This post is for U.
Remember after dinner, when we were waiting for lift, i said i think you would be happier if i vanish or gone for good?
i really think you will be..
no more me to argue with u
no more me to disturb u
no more me to bother u
no more mood swing girl giving u the face now and forever
cos i know i'm just someone no place in ur heart.
cos u are the Noheartgirl.
who often dun reply to me at times.
But now i take it easy even if u dun reply
And when i said i'll be your listening ears, i'm serious
But as i said, i may not be the one who you wanna share ur probs with,
but if u need someone, i can always be here. *My promise*
Anyway, no pressure.
As long as you are happy, i'll be happy for you.

And i enjoy time spent with you. It's true.

i already stopped taking things so hard
especially with handling emotions
not giving any single bit of my heart away anymore
never to give in too much feelings to anyone

BUT

i dunno when it all started
maybe is the little things that we do together
i dunno when u start to have that little place in my heart
just like spore
a little dot on the world's map
Sadly
my heart is way too too small compared to the world's map
so that little place that u stand in my heart
is actually so much so much

i cared
i got angry
y giving urself so much trouble to care
and get angry in the end

U will not be seeing this post and u never will
i jus wanna say it out
u did make me start to care again
but i would like to get over u
cos i know...
i dun have a place in ur heart

last nite i dreamt of u,
u pretty one
u have got the charm somehow
and make me so into u for that 4 yrs
yes u...
i do not know why u appeared in my dreams
but it was not really a good dream
i think i wanna see u again tonite but a good dream

Good nite... Zzz

Not a habit
Not a daily routine

It was always so nice and warms the heart
when ending each of the day
whoever's sleeping first
text the other with only a simple good nite wish
or concluding a little of the happenings for the day
updating each other every nite
at least there is this person on mind
before going to bed

How nice can this be...
If it still...

CAKES

These are CUTE...

These are PRETTY...

And...

This is SPECIAL...

=) Love this....

Dancing in Unity 2008- Traditional Elegance, Modern Scene
15 March 2008, 8pm, Victoria Theatre

Not dancing for our own Troupe's performance though but i'm here again
The many troupes together, putting up a performance...
The so familiar place, VT.
Every 2 years i will be coming back and performing on this stage for our own troupe's performance. (I hope it will continue)
The stage, the backstage,the lightings, the many dressing rooms, the spiral staircase that we used to climb up and down when we were rushing for the next item...
The entire place, not abit of change ever since i last left.

This place, contains all our hard work, worries, happiness , teamwork, fun and fulfillments.
Every Dance and its story behind...
Draws a beautiful end on this stage here in VT.
Never failed to give me post Expressions Blues when we mark the end of every own performances.

The last Dance,
The stage lights dimmed, the audiences applauded, the curtain closes.
The photo takings after the end of the performance
The way back to the dressing room
Saying how we did for the Dance
Commenting here and there
where we danced wrong etc
while untying our hair
Removing all the makeup
Removing the costume
Changing back to our normal clothes
Carrying all our props onto the lorry
Goodbye to VT

Heading home, walking on the bridge, Fullerton and Singapore River
The way home was always the same
the night lights, the night scene and the cold wind blowing
In mind, thoughts were all about the performance just before

Well, i'll have to experience everything again on 13th Sep 2008
Leng Kee Expressions IX
I'll say Hi and GoodBye to VT again...
Soon...

i can only say that things are constantly changing...

Maybe in
1 sec
1 min
1 hr
1 day...

You will never know what's gonna happen next...

No use thinking...

If it gonna be like this, then it will be...

rest ur mind and go to slp...

3 years...

The last semester of the studies...

The darkest period...

And i hate it the most...

It was such a struggle and such down times of my poly life...

nightmares with all the assignments and the packed submission dates...

the many days without slp....

the many worries that i had with all the stupid projects...

the people who i felt so hard to handle and what more to work with...

It made me learn many things...

It trained alot on my tolerance level...
But dun ever think that i keep quiet & dun fight back, you think that i'm always the loser & keep giving me that kind of face & attitude...
i had enough of it, really...
i just did not want to create more trouble by having war...
U are U and I am I...

And our world can never meet...

So let it be...

And finally i make it to the end...

I am so so happy that it all came to an end...

A real end and a full stop to this course...

Good Bye TP...

I'll always remember....
The morning breakfast, any bread w/o butter or cheese as i never like them.
The freshly brewed coffee with 2 packs of sugar and the beautiful cup that i drink in.
The sweet potato soup that u cooked when i just commented i din drink for a long time.

Then, The 9 pink roses when i have to go


Followed by, The farewell cake

More Surprises upcoming....

Then pop out a Card and the identical Ring u wore

Then, yesterday... i met up with her again...

Now, Estee Lauder Travel Exclusive Fragrance Collection

I think i cant take it anymore. I just wanna say...
U are always too good to me...
Too good to enter my life...
My heart cant contain anymore
And i'm really touched by u...
Never had i felt this special...
U are the first to make me realise...
Thank You and loves...
U will be treasured...

Staring blankly ahead
Just making my way
Making my way
Searching for that piece of heaven
That piece which belongs to me
Completing the missing part of my life
Just for me

Life's like a jigsaw puzzle
What may become of me
No one knows
No answer nor reply
Until I found that missing piece
That piece that can fit in my life's jigsaw puzzle
I'll be welcoming you to complete my puzzle
My complete life's puzzle

A puzzle that seems to be uncompleted
Blurry at some point of times
On the verge of falling
Shine the path that i should take
Shine it
And lead me
To where i should be heading to

Some things just so happens. I was viewing a profile of my fren and i saw u and her in the pic. U in your wedding gown. You are still the ever beautiful one. Suddenly, i felt a sudden heartache. Thank you for not inviting me to ur wedding. Maybe u have long 4gotten me or maybe i has never been able to enter ur world. Anyway, u are part of the reason y i like sch then. Sec 1 and sec 4 was the most memorable. If i could turn back the time, i think i will treasure 101%. Maybe that 1% will make u invite me to ur wedding or maybe jus an sms saying that u are getting married? Haha. Anyway, saw u so blissful, i'm so happy for u. U have all my best blessings.

Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago

Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my OWN...

Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't seem to care
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter now
cos i'm totally over you