how much do you care?
have you ever cared?

well

not a good girl
not a good daughter
not a good sister
not a good dancer
not a good worker
not a good-tempered girl
not a good friend
not a good person

dun get close to me
cos i'm jus good for nothing

hav you ever felt so comfortable saying anything

simply any little thing

without hesitating to a person?

sometimes i wanna say what i'm feeling

and the things that were kept in my heart

i want to say

but...

the thought that i'm gg back to my sec sch tmrw
is kind of so fascinating and so filled with hope
i'm so excited
i'm happy too
but also
i'm a little afraid
i dunno how to describe

not visiting my teachers or anything else
but for something
something, quite serious
i really dunno where my future lies but
i'm full with passion this one time
something which i think i will like and think will enjoy doing
but i'm not sure if it will be a success

this once familiar place
the environment and things
where i spent for 4 years
when i was much younger
still growing and learning
that's the place

but i should not hope too much
cos the more i hoped
the more disappointing it will be
if it turns out bad

but still i'm soo soo excited
think i cant slp tonite..

ha
it's sun
tmrw's mon
gonna work
then tue
wed
thur
fri
sat and
sun
again, another wk's gone
time's passing fast
hav u treasured the time?

you are you and I am I,
you do your things and I'll do mine too,
and if in the end we meet up together,
it is beautiful.

you said you know
but i say you dont

i think i really dun understand

and so i'm just leaving it
__________________________________________________________________

i read my horoscope today and it says:

Letting go of some of your negative energy is easier to do when you get your heart pumping! So go for a long jog in the woods, hit the gym, or just do some jumping jacks in your kitchen while the cookies are baking! As long as you can fit some kind of exercise into your day, you will help yourself get over an old grudge, forgive someone who wronged you, or shake loose a bad feeling about someone. Focusing on making your life better lets you be more positive overall.

But I slept for half the day instead of exercising..
so i'm not going to get over an old grudge, 4give someone who wronged me or shake loose a bad feeling abt someone?

well do u believe in reading horoscope?

take my heart away
so that i wont feel anything
simply nothing
happy sad angry disappointment
anything

and can still be alive
by then will be a living dead

but i dun mind
i wished i was cold blooded
so nothing can affect me

well, more than 14 years of relationship
and they both finally tied the knot
and everyone showered their blessings on their wedding day
in that high class hotel

set up their own cosy home
designed their own house
make it till so posh and stuffs

yet now they break up
not even a yr of marriage though
i really dun understand

can just 说分开就分开?
难道不知道心会痛？
一点感觉都没有？
那么多一起度过的美好日子
说放弃就放弃
我肯定一切都忘不了。

可能在一起久了，一切都是因为习惯
而再也不是爱情？

如果早知会这样
那为何当初要结婚？
然后再这样的收场？

我真的觉得很可惜。。。
但这最终还是你们的选择和决定。
now seperate ways but still
祝你们两都幸福‘ 快乐吧。

It's monday

i dunno y i started disliking monday ever since i started work

i only love fri nite, saturday and sunday b4 4pm.

cos after 4pm, will start to hav monday blues even though not even monday yet.

then MON, TUE, WED, THUR, FRI, SAT, SUN

all ovr again

again and again...

stayed ovr at cc last nite

but din slp well though

today woke at 5.45am

and all don't wan wake

then early morning make up,tie hair, dress and get ready for perf

was running late cos was told to be there by that time

so like crazy siao cha bo with costumes and make up

ran on the streets to the park where the carnival was

but then we were not late also cos still have to wait in the end


what a Sunday morning!

first was to just stand with props to wait and welcome ministers

then went back cc change costume for dance item

then back again

wait and wait for our turn to perf

no place to sit

sat on stairs and sun shinning

and is so so damn hot today.

well

guess what?

i'm tired & hungry now.

this 2 simple words
sorry and thanks

u will never know how i read it
i just know what u wanna to convey

thank you.
cos i know what to do.

i always wonder

if things ain't like this
will it be like something else?

will it happen to be better?
or will it happen to be worse?

choices
choices that i choose
i think i always made the wrong decisions
and chose the wrong choices
and often
i try not to regret
but somehow i did

and yes i did.
___________________________________________________________

life's always so complicated

cant i just live simple & happy?

ha

tossed on bed at 11

till 12 plus

and i cant get into slp again

it's bad

but i know i'm tired

now right eye red

cos kept rubbing

and running nose again

hope it wont run away!

hahaha

what a nite

i've been very sleepy and tired
for this whole wk
even if i had my sleep
not feeling well though

i know i still care when i took my hp and started to sms
even jus 2 words in the sms

i'll sleep soon

As usual i wont say a word
even if i dun feel good

maybe one day i wont feel this way anymore
and that's when
i'm tired
all tired
to even care.

cos i already knew...

Auntie, u better take care and get well soon
stop overworking
work's never ending
i'm sure ppl ard u dun wish to see u getting sick.

feeling real shit.

wanna scream and shout like nobody's business
shutting myself
just tired of everything
anything

but after all
i dunno how to vent all the frustrations
i just know how to keep silence

so just go to sleep.

The second song on my playlist- Chiquitita by ABBA

A song, you once dedicated to me so long ago.

I felt so glad hearing the song at that point of time.

cos the lyrics so meaningful.

Describing so right.

even now, I feel so much better whenever i hear it when i'm not feeling so good

even though it's not the same anymore

Thank you.

here it goes...
Chiquitita, tell me what's wrong
You're enchained by your own sorrow
In your eyes there is no hope for tomorrow
How I hate to see you like this
There is no way you can deny it
I can see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, tell me the truth
I'm a shoulder you can cry on
Your best friend, I'm the one you must rely on
You were always sure of yourself
Now I see you've broken a feather
I hope we can patch it up together

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita

So the walls came tumbling down
And your love's a blown out candle
All is gone and it seems too hard to handle
Chiquitita, tell me the truth
There is no way you can deny it
I see that you're oh so sad, so quiet

Chiquitita, you and I know
How the heartaches come and they go and the scars they're leaving
You'll be dancing once again and the pain will end
You will have no time for grieving
Chiquitita, you and I cry
But the sun is still in the sky and shining above you
Let me hear you sing once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita
Try once more like you did before
Sing a new song, Chiquitita