Soon, it'll be 2007!
2006 jus passed like that. Was so fast. I'm still dreaming away... Dun really believe dat in few hours' time it'll be 2007!
2007? What will it be for me? Nobody knows what will it be... I'll tell u when it's 2008 then.. But I hope is smooth sailing, everyone is happy including myself and a yr dat my studies will be better...

As promised, today is the day dat i will be meeting my pri sch frens.. Haha quite excited for this outing... 6 yrs no meet them out liao haha.. so meet up with 2 frens who stayed in tamp and took the train down together... The meeting was 11am at somerset. Haha What an early morning's date. So there were 4 gals and 7 guys at first. Then we went to wait for the Tcc to open cos we were too early. Then later 2 more gals came.. We had lunch and played pool. Din knoe how to play pool, was the first time. I never thought that i wld go play pool. But it was quite nice though. Then after pool some of the gals had to go so left 2 gals, me and another fren with the guys. Then we went to bugis to find a fren who's working there. But after finding dat fren, i had to leave cos got dance. So the rest of my pri sch fren went for dinner and think a few more ppl came. Bid Goodbye to my pri sch frens and i went to my dance fren who was also working in bugis and went dance with her.. Dance today was quite ok but my legs were aching cos today walked and stand the whole day and then dance somemore. well today my day was quite wonderful and nice. =) lets meet up again soon...

_______________________________________________________________

29th dec
I received the first and long awaited gift from a fren.

I known her for abt 7 yrs.But only really get to know her the past 4 yrs. Last yr Had been msging her every nite for almost a yr but it all stopped and i also dunno y. From then i din really sms her anymore. I was trying not know abt her news, know nothing abt her anymore and when we meet, i seldom talk to her too. Felt uneasy...
But i always wanted a gift from her. But 7 yrs i have never received anything from her before.. So i was like 4get it le la..

But She finally gave me a gift for xmas this yr but is belated cos she 4got dat it was gg to be xmas on the day we last met.. So she had to give me after xmas when we meet again. And she said it was only prepared for me.. Haha.. I was surprised cos i never thought she would even remember about me when she was shopping for the gifts...
But if last Time when i still cared so much abt her, she gives me a gift i think i'll be overjoyed and happy till dunno what. but now i'm jus surprised. happiness= 70%

She gave me a Book titled:" The Choice is yours".
I'm a person who can never finish reading every single pg of a book so far in my 18 plus yrs. But this bk, i managed to read every single of them and in 1 day i finished. There were many meaningful quotes and stuffs. Easy chapters and inspiring stories.

I'll share a pg in the book on the chapter Relationships are a choice:
10 things u must know abt ppl

1. Ppl are insecure... Give them confidence
2. Ppl like to feel special... Sincerely compliment them
3. Ppl look for a better tomorrow... Show them hope
4. Ppl need to be understood... Listen to them
5. Ppl lack direction... Navigate for them
6. Ppl are selfish... Speak to their needs first
7. Ppl get emotionally low... Encourage them
8. Ppl want to be associated with success... Help them win
9. Ppl desire meaningful relationships... Provide community
10. Ppl seek models to follow... Be an example
    

Thank you for the gift.

you are you and I am I,
you do your things and I'll do mine too,
and if in the end we meet up together,
it is beautiful.

Yesterday, jus got back in contact with my pri sch frens on msn... So long no contact... Almost like 6 years no contact le... No news and nothing.. Everyone was busy or maybe i'm the one not keeping in contact with the others when hav gathering, i got something on or Whatever so always got no chance to meet up with them. Last time no com.. no msn.. no frenster.. Mountain tortoise like dat... even if they got msn or What i din take down haha... Was so glad that the ppl there i still remember. And they remembered me too.. Was in a mass conversation with 8 or 9 ppl talking at a go... then i hav to guess who is who.. So lame la then they keep joking ard say dat this person is the other.. so messy.. But lucky still got someone who can trust to tell me who excatly is who.. So i got them rite and memories were slowly coming back.. The feeling was great.. long lost frens.. Meeting up with them soon.. Looking forward to see u all.. Hahas... =)

14th dec
slacked at home... Started doing bday card for the twins' bday. Their bday falls on 17th dec... i seldom make cards for people cos making a card takes alot of time and efforts? i would rather go get a gift.. Anything will do la.. And when u do the card, u need to think if the card is suitable for the person... But anyways, now holi so got time to make. I will pass the card on 16th to the younger of the twins at her workplace. Doing the card and halfway done. Stop doing and went to slp at 12 plus.

15th dec
Still, stayed home to continue with the cards... actually i already ran out of ideas of how to design the cards... And need to make them in a way that is presentable.. mind not thinking somehow... keep on adding things and improvise on the card, making it too complicated... then stop making the card le cos if i continue, i will ruin them.. almost done for the first card. Half way done for the second. Slept at 1 plus then..

16th dec
morning continued with the card and i'll hav to finish and giv the card in the afternoon. I faster finish up the first card and go on to the second and faster finish up. No time liao. Cos i need to go ah ma house cos my ah ma's bday celebration... Then all the cousins and aunties all gathered in the small house... Very long no see my cousins they all liao cos was like 1 month plus no go ah ma house! All thanks to the projects and stuffs...
Then went to ps and passed the card. Next went to PA cos my dance laosshi need more ppl to be there to hav a meeting for the chinese dance artistes assiocation. Was there slacking and doing nothing cos we dun even knoe the ppl there we jus need to be there and keep quiet and eat the dinner provided. It was time for voting but we dun even knoe them so we dun need to vote and sat there. Then after dat went to my fren's fren piano concert.. The concert already started cos of the meeting... They played very well. And we got the first row seat, so close up to the pianist... Was so amazed by their music and their playing... The concert ended and we went home. Mine whole day ended.
Sms the both of the bday gals on the dot at 12.00am. but only the younger sis replied and said she liked the card. i was waiting for the elder sis to reply back but no, not even a reply. not even a thank you for the card. I dunno Y. I knoe if i'm willing to giv, i must not want to get any return. but still i was actually disappointed! really. Maybe my card sucks? anyways, i'm nobody to the both of them. Maybe my cards already in the dustbin or dunno where? ha... What's the use of spending so much time making cards and get disappointed with myself and the response. U, Catherine, u are nothing, U are nobody! Dont be foolish next Time...

i really dislike ppl not replying to sms... I really do... Say i'm demanding or What... Say what u want cos i cant do anything... but i still think a reply is important... It all shows if the person cares anot... Everyone has the rite to choose if u want to reply to the person, and dats nothing i can do about it.. U urself also choose if to reply to the person, dont u? Ppl are all the same i think. Well, i hav nothing more to say...

i want to end everything... yes at this point of time. everything dats got to do with u....

18th dec
Today rained whole day! my mood today wasnt very good. Was drenched when i was on way to dance cos actually i wanted to bring umbrella but then i cant find any foldable umbrella anywhere in the house. i will never bring the long one out! so just went out and was hoping for the rain to become smaller but everytime u hope, it will be even worse... It got bigger! i was late for dance and there was no shelter to the dance there. So i walked in the big rain and was wet lor. lucky got extra shirt there to change if not wet wet very uncomfortable. So contiuned dancing.. was tired and now after posting, i will sleep! tired...

-----------END---------------

Finally end of term tests! The 3 days were so difficult to pass... And term tests, i hate it! But over is over, nothing more i can do about it. Now only can wait for the results which i can predict wld be sucks!!! Well, i think i nvr will do well in writing codes and programming stuffs.. I'm damn serious! I always wonder if i entered the wrong course? Cos i am not very good in IT stuffs though. I wanted Design but anyway, again, i can do nothing now. Just hav to finish the stupid 1 and half more yrs of studies and then we'll see. Hopefully i can get my diploma.

_____________________________________________________________________

Sometimes, when i see those old people on streets as i was walking, as i past them, i felt so sad. They look weak and usually they are alone, all by themselves.. Very lonely... I Dun wanna be old, neither do i want my frens and family members to become old. But dats nature, everyone has to grow old and die... I'm actually scared and dun wanna to imagine abt my parents growing old... I really dun wan.. I feel lost and afraid... what will be of me when they are old? Parents will still regard u as their small kids even if u hav grown up. They see u grow up and give u all the best that they have... Sorry Pa and Ma if i was too stubborn and short tempered and shout back at times but sometimes i just cant control my temper dat well. But all was because of anger, i din mean to. I know you all care but i din show out that i care. I wanted to show the strong side infront of you all. I want my pa and ma to be chang ming bai shui...

Rushing for the WAD project for the past 3 days but the deadline was extended once already so no reason y we cannot finish in time. Went to stay over at jiawen house again and slept at the usual 3 plus am and wake up in the early morning with the few hours of sleep and attend the next day's lessons. And i'm dog tired, i need sleep. But think jiawen was more tired cos she did most of the work. Cos the other 3 of us din really knoe how to do. Haiz i'm sorry. The only thing i can do was to be there and see and giv comments. All thanks to jw in order to be able to hand in the assignment in time.. and we handed it right on the dot at 5pm. And back at home, i'm hungry and tired. Soon i will have to force myself to study ADID, HCI, WAD cos the scary Term test is coming! And i'm doomed this time, i dunno the subjects!!!!

is replying an sms so difficult?
it only takes a few seconds to type an sms.
even if this few seconds u cant spare?
u dun even want to reply me dun u?
i knoe the answer...
cos i'm jus someone u choose to ignore and u dun even care...

Finish lesson, finished lunch. Full and sleepy.. Slacking in a lab doing nothing while the other ppl play CS. Here at this moment the lab is noisy with all the shooting sounds of CS and some rock music... I Abit headache and very sianz... Din want to go home and come back to school again, hav cds lec at 5pm.. Too lazy to travel here and there.. I'm a BIG FAT PIG. Then after lec will meet up with the arts app grpmates to do our rehearsal and stuffs cos tmrw is the real performance... i'm yawning non stop and eyes are watery. Yes i'm tired, i really am.

Haven been blogging cos i was too busy. Way too busy.. But finally this wk is ovr. Horrible and stressed wk. We actually had 3 projects to hand in but in the end 1 of the project's deadline is postponed! yeah.. Postponed... Believe it anot? haha..

Mon was actually supposed to meet up with jie to do her flash thing but in the end she had a meeting last min so jus met her and show face. At 6 she still was not done with the meeting so our meeting for the day was cancelled cos i hav to rush to dance. I left sch at 6.50pm so in the end reach dance there was abt 8 plus like dat. Ppl there already in their costumes and hair neatly tied ready to dance. Then i had to quickly get change.. I felt so extra.. I was tired then and no energy to dance. haha.. Reached home at 11 plus... Tired!

Then tues cos i hav to do my project too so i brought her together with me to the lab with my frens and did my project and also see what i can help. But sad to say, my flash was not very good so i wasn't of any help to her. Instead i think i wasted her time there. I'm very sorry. She was stressed too but i wasn't of any help to her.. haiz.. I really wanna help but i'm not really good at flash dear... So sorry...Then my project also no progress.. So another was ovr. Went home and had dinner and was tired.

Then wed a very screwed up day, was having CMSK interview and i 4got to take the stupid portfolio.. Starting of the day was already no good.. Everything went Wrong and wrong... wanted to do WAD but then things turned out not well, really sickening... there was a make up class which had to be 3-6pm in the only lab that has the porgram for WAD. Dat means we do not have time to do WAD liao. We cant carry on with our plan... We still hav TAIN and ADID... Sickening!!!! ARGHHHHH... Then we quickly come to a conclusion dat we go jiawen's house and stayed over for 2 nites to rush the projects... So dat nite, we went her house. I reached at 10, cos watched superstars aha.. Then we carried on with the projects... Well dat nite slept at 6am and woke up at 7.30am. go school like zombie.. very tired..

Thurs, after school went baCk to jiawen's house.. Then slack abit cos was too tired. Then news dat WAd is postponed to next fri, so we were relieved.. no need to rush like mad. So we concentrated on ADID and Tain.. Her house got over 10 ppl but only left 5 in the end staying ovr. Everyone was tired, mind not working, mood not very good. Get irritated easily.. faster finish the Tain and 3/4 of ADID and went to slp. Never felt dat i needed slp as b4. I jus went dead on the bed at 3am and woke up at 6 in the morning cos got stupid apel lesson!!!

Fri, date of submission and really no energy left. Was lack of sleep really.. took cab down to sch cos missed the bus and the apel class cannot be late lor cos we already late 1 time le.. Slept b4 their basic FA lec starts and also in the lec.. Too bad even if the lecturer saw me sleepin cos i was not supposed to be in the lec in the first place and i was right smack in the center of the LT, but sorry la cos i was way too tired.. sleep till like the head gg to drop anytime, swaying and swaying... aha Then the stupid Adid gave us some prob maybe our brain not functioning dat well so the prob was like so damn and we had no time left. The teacher came b4 we could finish.. Was stressed.. Then after dat i still hav dance.. Oh man i was already gone liao. But i still hav to go dance practise cos i have performance on sat. haha suddenly i hope i am a wonder woman then i can do everything so easily and can multitask... i wanted sleep badly... went dance and came home at 11 plus again.. quickly shower and laid flat on the bed. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Sat, performance day, need to report at 1.30pm but in the end i woke up at 12pm.. haha so quickly go do up my stuffs and rushed off.. in the end i reached at ard 2 like dat. The Kids were already practising and the adults were already ironing their costumes and i was lucky to hav fren to help me iron.. I not good at ironing though, i was lazy and of cos tired.. I haven recover yet.. i still need the Beauty slp. yes the performance was still fine except for some small matters but the thing went fine. Then went supper and took cab home. long day... Getting my beauty slp... ZZZZZZ

Tmrw, meeting up with arts app grp to do the performance rehearsal.. cos tues is the real thing. And i found out that i think i cant act long ago when we tired to act out the show last wk. i dunno what has got to me but i cant act la! Very uneasy acting in front of them.. i also dunno y... Sigh but i hope i shall let go of everything and get into the role tmrw and make the rehearsal a good one cos i dun wan to waste their time... sorry if i cant act well. i never like to act but then i wld like to try and i hope i am not dat worse...

Dat goes my whole wk 6.. What a tiring and busy wk.. giv me back my sleep!!!

This is the lyrics for the song that is playing now:

Tata Young- For You I will

When you're feeling lost in the night
When you feel your world just ain't right
Call on me, I will be waiting
Count on me, I will be there
Anytime the times get too tough
Anytime your best ain't enough
I'll be the one to make it better
I'll be there to protect you, see you through
I'll be there, and there is nothing, I won't do

[Chorus]
I will cross the ocean for you
I will go and bring you the moon
I will be your hero, your strength
Anything you need
I will be the sun in your sky
I will light your way for all time
Promise you, for you I will

I will shield your heart from the rain
I won't let no harm come your way
Oh these arms will be your shelter
No these arms won't let you down
If there is a mountain to move
I will move that mountain for you
I'm here for you, I'm here forever
I will be your fortress, tall and strong
I'll keep you safe, I'll stand beside you, right or wrong

[Chorus]
For you I will, lay my life on the line
For you I will fight, hmmm, for you I will die
With every breath, with all my soul
I'll give my word, I'll give it all
Put your faith in me
And I'll do anything

[Chorus]
Promise you, for you I will

Yesterday, although very tired and many projects piling on me, but i was happy for some other things. Morning was helping out in clearing of the room of my dance troupe. Shifting and carrying a lot of things, like moving house like dat.. Used up my energy... Our properties were way too much. 8 expressions of stuffs... The room was full and we can hardly move abt. But i din managed to help out alot as i needed to go do project in the afternoon. Went to Jiawen's house to do the project.. It was raining when i was on the train down... But in the afternoon, some things made me extra happy!!!... really made my day. Yes i was happy. Not becos of the project, if i was happy abt the proj thing, i think need to send me to go hospital to hav a check up. And i din expect at nite was also happy... becos of that something happening again... hahas... Hope the some thing will happen again....

I'm here to tell you something
Something you should know
You are someone 'Special',
And I'm here to tell you so.

Your life, it is before you
Like fresh new fallen snow
The footprints that you make there
Are yours and yours alone.
It's up to you how they will look
Footprints crisp and sure
Or steps that seem to drag along,
The edges all a blur.

As you plan your course in life
And the steps you'll take
Be not afraid to alter plans,
If some mistakes you make.

All pencils have erasers
Mistakes I've made myself
Just keep right on, pursue your dreams,
Don't put them on a shelf.

Step carefully and slowly
Be not afraid to try
Adventure is before you...

This is the lyrics of the song dat was played previously:

Now That She's Gone-- Lin Jun Jie

Girl you know I miss you so
I didn't know you had to go
You've had enough of our distance baby
Before I had the chance to say
I'm staying with you
For the rest of my life
Don't keep telling me these words
You don't know how much it hurts
And I'll promise you eternity
If you promise me your stay
But now it's too late
I'm no longer the man that I was
I will go on without her
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wing
A fire without its flame
I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song
Don't keep telling me these words Oh no
You don't know how much it hurts
And I'll promise you eternity
If you promise me your stay
But now it's too late
I'm no longer the man that I was
And I will go on without her
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wing
A fire without its flame
I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song
Oh yes I know I don't know
Baby I know I'm a fool
And I will go on without her
Like a fool who's too sure
I'm like a bird who's lost her wing
A fire without its flame
I don't know how to be strong
When my love has to move on
I am a song without a soul
Now that she's gone
What's left of us is this song
This is our song without a soul
Now that you're gone
What's left of us in this song

Rainy day. The habit of walking in the rain is back. It wasn't raining too heavily it was just drizzling. I kindda like walking in the rain where the raindrops fall on me. The weather is cool... and strolling in the rain washes ur troubles away. Maybe u think i'm crazy but nvm... But without fail, after walking in the rain, i'll usually catch a cold. I dunno y too. ha... Climbing the bridge which i have not done so ever since pri 5, i'm doing it all ovr again. I miss those memories when i was still young, i could run up the bridge and all the way to sch with the big bag during pri sch... But now, i could just walk and of course with a smaller bag. Meaning, i have grown a little older now... The energy which i had last Time wasn't the same as now. I'm constantly changing as i grow. Thinking differently, doing things in a different way, emotions all over. I've lost touch of my soul for sometime, i want to find back my old self again.. It takes time but i'll try to find it back no matter what. Wish me success...

The 3 pieces below are those i like very much, not dat they are very well drawn but they are jus special.


Hurts behind a smiling facade



Somewhere over the rainbow



A strong spirit, a tender heart

For a special girl

For a Special girl:
I have been trying and trying. Maybe u never knoe. Trying to get to knoe you better, trying to get into ur life, hope to share your happiness and sadness, Simply anything abt u. Cos i think you are worth my efforts. I Dun want to regret by letting you go and we become strangers once again. But i think i can never never get into your life even though i tried hard, i dunno why... Our conversations became lesser and lesser each day and maybe i shall jus let it be. BUSY is the word that makes me have nothing more to say. We both hav our own lives to live. Think i always wanted more frm u than u were willing to give. But u are just so special to me from the first moment dat i known u. I Thank God even if is this short moment of my life to hav met u. There is this Quote:" The only way of knowing a person is to love them without hope." So i'm gg to love u without hoping of what u will give from this moment on...

..............................

i hav so many many things to do. 2 projetcs due and 1 lab test and then next wk term test. Shit lor everything so damn fast. Can jump off building liao. I dunno anything lor since sch reopen. And WHat makes me more sad is some ppl can go holi lor and i still struggling like hell. And I want to hav a break! Feel like running away from this earth, this world. Got nothing to stress on, nothing to bother. Really nothing... I jus need a break Pls!!!

Tired!

Oh pls bro, i need some slp... Pls dun wake up so early.. Waking up at 6 plus? And i hav to wake up also jus to make u go to slp? WHat's this? I'm jus very very ANNOYED! U know how tired it is to be woken up when u haven slp enough? The feeling is terrible... It make ur whole day like shit! No mood, No energy, Blank mind... Sleepy.. SO PLS STOP ALL THIS..

It's Saturday

Saturday to me doesn't seems so nice since after expressions.. It seems to be extra boring after all the busy sat, having expression rehearsals.. Still hav 2 more wks to sch reopen.. And it's my 2nd yr.. Dunno what subjects i'm taking also.. Dunno if change class? So many dunnos.. Dunno my future.. And it is raining again.. Cool weather.. Has been raining recently.. The sky also not very happy so has been 'crying' haha.... Well it's another boring day!

sad..

i hav been dancing since pri 1. And i joined Lkdt when i was in pri 5, now still. BUt I would say dat my passion for dance wasn't as strong as b4 as years go. Where has the passion gone? Maybe i have changed or the environment and ppl around me have changed? I really dunno.. Now gg dance was jus gg for the sake of gg. The feeling is no longer the same anymore, i feel dat my soul was no longer there but just the body doing the movements. I Dun enjoy as much as i did b4.. I actually hav decided to stop dancing after exp 8 but it wasn't so easy to let go. Some things are still pulling me back. Memories there were great, known great ppl there. Learnt lots of things. We are like 1 big family. I'm afraid that i really will let go of all these. I dun want to giv them all away cos i heart them. Maybe i jus hav to sit down and really think abt it..

Rain

Now it's raining very very heavily... But the air is very cool.. Long time dun hav this cool feeling liao.. At this very moment, i wished i could stand under the rain and get myself drenched... Totally wet.. long time no walk in the rain and enjoy the water falling on me... Think the grass, the trees, the leaves, the flowers, the mud all need the long awaited rain.. They hav been under the sun for so long now it's time for them to drink some water and 'bathe' themselves. Cool day! The rain is kindda big.. I love the weather...

blogging

Blogging is a way to let ppl knoe u and ur life better... Knoe what's happening to u lately and stuffs. But u cant prevent ppl from judging u for who u are not by jus reading the blog. Sometimes ppl just judge u by its cover... This is a sad thing. Sometimes ppl jus dun wanna say things out and dat doesn't mean anything, they jus want to keep it to themselves. It's their right dun u think so? Or maybe sometimes u jus hav to let it out and not bottle all inside? Life is full of tests and challenges. Ups and Downs, Life is a choice too. U choose u wanna be happy or sad. U do what u wanna do and be urself even if somtimes ppl dun like the way u are.