ha

i'm sick

caught a cold

slowly sore throat

keep sneezing

nose blocked

stuffing tissues into my nose

very tired and sleepy

lack of oxygen

i hate it

surprisingly,

this long break

i did not really have post production blues

which i always had for the past few ones

also not really eager to go back

i feel nothing

is this good or bad?

and is this an indication that i'm really over and done with it?

i've to sort my thoughts out

it's always complicated

maybe one day... one day

when i really know what i want, how i feel

somehow somewhat

i just wanna be an audience

or some stage helper

just be there to lend a hand (audience- hand to give applauses, stage helper- hand to move props)

cos i know i dun shine

the stage i've always been on for all the years

i think i finally know

it really is not the place where i belong

if i'm granted 3 wishes,

i dun want frame
i dun want wealth
i dun want all the things that is a want but not a need

i just needed a little more understanding, care and patience from people
i just needed all my loved ones, family and frens to be healthy and happy always
i just needed to lead a simple and ordinary yet happy life and lived life to the fullest.

Just take it easy
take it easy in everything
said, do or done
even if it feels how damn
even it feels how shit

i have no feeling anymore
cos i'm just dead
a dead cant feel anything
nothing.

i'm just simple
i trust people quite easily

i dun ask for much
i wont ask why no reply my sms
i wont sms again
cos the reason's so clear
i'm not at all important to even let u spare a sec to return an sms.

how hard can replying a sms be?
i really dunno.
it really shows it all.
and it's abit hurting after all
cos i cared.

i've learnt to be contented with whatever i have
and not hoping for anything else
at least now i wont hope for things that will never come true

i'm really tired. i dun like what i'm doing now. every single moment. i wanna just leave. and get out of this shit. can i?

When u put in too much feelings
u can get angry and disappointed even over the smallest things ever.

just becos u din get what u expected it to be in return.
just becos u are too silly.
just becos u cared too much.

we already know
we are actually not that close even from the start
our worlds dun really meet somehow
we have much differences, i know
we dun hav much chemistry together

but i really felt close
for that once
our paths did cross
didn't we?
or maybe i was wrong?

but i really enjoyed the time spent
and the fun we both had
even for the short period of time
the memories still so clear

i'll always remember
even if the smallest details
even if u ever 4get

It all ended.

Putting a full stop.

Hope it was a beautiful ending.

All the rehearsals, the hard work, the commitments and the time given by everyone.

We all know the time's tight, more extra time that we needed to spare

The many more days and hours of trainings.

Making us physically tired out and aching all over.

We all know the frustrations, the little arguments, the fun & laughters, the happinesses & unhappiness.

And the many nicknames i had for this exp. I actually quite like the new name: Catherine Danielle Chua. Ha
________________________________________________________________

It was the actual performance finally.

It was all too soon.

The prayer and cheer before the performance.

Giving one another moral supports.

From the first dance till the last.

The dim of the stage lights.

The applauses from the audiences.

The last bow on Victoria Theatre's stage.

The happy screams at the end of the performance

a relief.

It all ended just like that.
________________________________________________________________

A very big thank you for all the dancers.

Each and everyone.

We spent so much time together.

We have come so far together.

I know i gotta miss you people.

it will soon be the time.

Well, left only 1 wk and we'll mark the end our performance on Victoria Theatre's Stage.
The months of trainings,
the efforts and time we committed in
the fun and the bad times
the happy and bad moods
the frustrations and all
the little arguments on the dance steps
and the timing to come to make props
the little injuries here and there
we had them all together
the team work from all of us
at the end when we hear the applause from the audiences,
we know in our hearts
the efforts we put in
they were worth it
really hope that it will be a good one.
everything will be well and good

but when we mark the end of the whole performance
i know i'll miss the time when we were so busy training
although very tiring
but i enjoy the time spent with all the people
the laughters, the complaints, the happy times
it's so ironic

well, now jiayou ba!
later then have my post production blues.
and i'll slowly recover.

i'm just silly.
just wanna be childish sometimes
let me be

It's raining outside.
A little heavy i would say.

Windows wide open
looking out of the window
all i see is rain water pouring down
and cool wind blowing in.

i used to like taking a stroll in the rain
let the rain splash down
right from my head to toes
wash away my troubles and worries

get a little drenched
get a little sick

it just shows everything
i finally and really got to know
how not important i am
and where do i stand

i'm just a nobody
a passerby in one's life
one who's so insignificant

even if i'm gone
will u ever realize it?
will u ever realize my presence?

no.