Listen,
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But can't complete

Listen, to the sound from deep within
It's only beginning
To find release

Oh,
the time has come
for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside and turned
Into your own
all cause you won't
Listen....

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

You should have listened
There is someone here inside
Someone I'd thought had died
So long ago

Oh I'm screaming out, for my dreams to be heard
They will not be pushed aside or worse
Into your own
All cause you won't
Listen...

I don't know where I belong
But I'll be moving on
If you don't....
If you won't....

LISTEN...
To the song here in my heart
A melody I've start
But I will complete

Oh,
Now I'm done believing you
You don't know what I'm feeling
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice, you think you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..
my OWN...

Whenever I'm mad it hurts me so bad
And you don't seem to care
If I'm mad at you I'll hurt myself too
But that doesn't really matter now
cos i'm totally over you

Well, it has been a very long time since i last blogged. And i'm back again! Some things to update....

23rd April- 13th Aug
Attachment was great! Never did i ever think going for attachment, working together with people u just know can be just so wonderful. I missed the people, the environment. It's just like a daily routine so much so comfortable. Guessed i've adpat to the sch. So much fun and laughters... So much so involved in the events, made me feel like a family even i just came in to work. I really felt the warmth and care u all have shown for me. And of course nice people that i would never 4get and make me still wanna go back when i'm free even if it is so far.. Last day, They had a little surprise farewell party for me. And i received pink roses, cards with their touching words inside, and other gifts inside, a secret gift that i really treasure. And a nice dinner at swensens with one of the teachers teaching there that i'm quite close with. Thank u so much. And from this attachment, i'm a little aspired to become a teacher or someone part in the sch.


13th Aug- 15th Aug
Rushing the SIP report.. Dunno how to start.. And i'm time pressed to complete the report b4 i can fly. The submission is actually on 20th but i'll be away so... On 13th, i read the guidelines and sian half way. Nothing comes to mind, so i slack, did nothing. haha I hate writing reports. On 14th started writing some nonsense and rubbish. Also like no much progress. On 15th last day for me to finish. Kept staring on the com screen. Typing little by little. And in the end did till next day morning 3 am. And there goes my slp. Only slept abt 2 - 3 hrs.


16th Aug- 21st Aug
Was away for Kuching International Dance Festival. Early in the morning 6am get out of house and headed to airport. Together with my other 6 dance mates and my laoshi. We flew there to perform together with dancers from all over the world. Then next day came, PA dancers and their 2 laoshi, Dance Inspiration dancers and their laoshi. We as one Spore. Was really a great experience. Before the trip we had to learn many other dance combinations, as many as 10 combi. We were all shocked and stressed as how to learn so many and remember the combi in such a short period of time. The adults were working, infact all those gg for this trip were working and were all tired and had to foresake our Sundays practising. But in the end we made it, not a very good performance though but everything went well for that section. So much laughters, fun, pain, aching that we shared... During this trip, many incidents that really made me learnt alot. Teamwork, Team spirits and be able to communicate with each other are very impt. The things we share and the situation that we were in, really bring us together. Really... brought us even closer. Together as one, i really do believe.


28th Aug
Went back to the sch for teachers' day celebration... So funny that i din go back to my own pri/sec sch. Went to my attachment sch instead. The concert, everybody was so excited abt the concert. And a big cake for the teachers by the sch. The children performed their items for their teachers. Also, they had their little party in class for their teachers. The children got their gifts ready and all rushed to their teachers and gave them their presents. The whole staff room filled with presents on their tables. And i got a chance to see how the teachers unpacked the gifts and their expression while opening. My first time. Been wondering how the teachers react when opening the gifts by students back when i was still a pri sch student. Now i have seen it with my own eyes. haha... Current Students and ex students of the sch came to flood the entrance of the staff room. Many teachers and their students at every corner of the sch. Was really a mess. So many ppl. Headache. Long time ever since i last experience this kind of situation.

28th Sep
And it's celebration for children's day. Haha. Went back to the sch again. Today, teachers got to perform instead. So amazing to see the teachers dance infront of their students and the items put up by them. Haha i always liked children's day celebration. But too bad children's day dun exist for us anymore. But then i still receive children's day gifts by the teachers... Haha so happy!


6th oct
haha.. Actually not arranged to meet with one of the teacher i've known at my attachment. Shld be today instead but on 5th oct nite and i was awoken by her call, she suddenly ask to go out on 6th instead as she scared she might have something on today. Haha our date is at 2pm, city hall mrt. But in the end we were both late but then she was only like 3 mins earlier than me. Our timing were good and the day was so hot and sunny, perfect for shooting. We went shopping and she bought lots of stuffs, clothes and heels. Everthing fits her nicely and so she bought them all that we have selected. Then it's our main purpose- shooting. We went shooting till crazy. Ask her to pose and pose, then she also wants me to pose. We were all crazy. The people there think we were crazy. Posing one and there. Spent hours walking from one place to another and posing and posing. And she is actually the first person so crazy with me in photography. We shoot till no more MRT service and so took a cab home. Then so excited transfer the photos to com and review the takes. Not all takes are good but some still satisfactory.

Here's one of the shots that i think is nice by her(still have many others):

here's taken by me:

I was browsing through the many photos... Then i came across the Dance chalet pics...
Suddenly i really missed the Dance chalet... which was some long time ago.. And i simply LOVE every single one of the pictures below...

The 3 really bored people in the room posing to the cam infront of the mirror somemore while we were still waiting for our turn to take bath..

Every single pose was so so special and so ever real... Think can never take the same pic with the same pose and the same atmosphere again... And the people taking the photo cannot be replaced, not even 1... Then it will turn out to be totally different... hahas....

hasn't been feeling very good for the past 2 days... Was totally stressed over some freaking sickening thing... it was like a dream...
When u have been left all alone and compromise cannot be done.. It was really hard for everyone, i knoe... how will u feel when u are in the situation? i was totally disheartened... My heart sank... i wished i can vanish into thin air and not worrying abt it anymore... i was just like a garbage where no one wants...

i lead a boring life...
sometimes just living in my own world
sometimes doing the same routine
likes to draw when i feel like it
sometimes do things unexpectedly
my mood swings every now and then
sometimes i feel like vanishing into thin air
can be hyper active
can be quiet all the while
i hate the word busy
i dun like ppl not replying to me
i like listening to songs that can touch me
i dun like adding colours in my drawing
i can be too emotional
but can be cold too
i want an elder sis
i believe that lady luck always not on my side

Think i need some colours to add on my life...
cos it's grey now...
But dats not the end.

Think i need someone really to understand me and not just see my weaknesses
no one is perfect?
can i find that someone?

can i stop the time so that happy moments will never end?

well i skipped dance again tonite! and again not telling the dance coordinator.. Haha... Bad bad but then i'm just lazy!

And today the stupid workers keep on drilling.... Dunno drill What... The whole afternoon... hear the drilling sound... Headache... Just cant u all Stop it....

again it's a boring day!

but soon i'll be having SIP....

So well, let me rot just another wk... cos when SIP starts, think also no time to rot...

Friendship can be in many kinds:

1. someone is always giving and the other person not taking
2. someone always giving and the other person taking but did not show
3. someone is always giving more and the other person less
4. someone giving and the other person also give some in return

for 1. - dat someone will give as much as possible at first but will eventually get tired and let go.

for 2. - dat someone will not knoe if the other person care abt this frenship anot. May stay on but may also let go.

for 3. - This friendship will last if dat someone really treasure the friend and does not mind giving more.

for 4. - This friendship may be a true one if the giving and taking last...

In different friendships, U may be dat someone or u may be the other person.

Only U know which category u belong to.

Can u guess which is the tallest building in singapore that can reach the sky and touch the moon and star?

haha.. went bugis with some of my sec sch frens... Long time did not meet up, so met for dinner cum gathering.. haha

After dinner, Went to take neoprint...
8 ppl squeezing inside that small machine... It was hot hot hot.. Damn hot... need to take dunno how many shots and choose 6 out of them... we took a long time to position ourselves...

So we kept squeezing to make sure that all the faces can be inside and decrease the chance of blocking each other...

But still....



some faces got blocked... Cant help it... too many people... haha

Maybe last time if u asked me not to go dance, i'll protest...
I do not care about what others said, even they said they're not gg, i'll still go.
The passion for dance was too strong then.
The thought of gg dance was so exciting, so eager...
I used to think that dance is my everything.
A piece of my heaven.

But now...
the passion faded... slowly bit by bit.. i do not know when it will be faded totally...
Dont ask me y... cos i dont hav an answer myself.
but i still know that i still have lots and lots of memories...
Wonderful memories that cannot be replaced..

With the long hours of practising, but just the few minutes of performance on stage. This isn't the impt thing.

The most important thing is the team spirit of all the dancers in the troupe is strong and the good and bad of times that we had together.. We practised hard, spent so much time together and finally received the applauses together.
Every dancer's wish is to hear the loud applauses from the audiences when we finished the dance.
The loud applauses is the greatest gift for the dancers. Need no compliments, need no hurraying, just an applause, means everything to a dancer on stage!
On the stage,under the spotlights, with the glamorous costumes, with sweat and the smiles, receiving the applauses...
At the audiences seats, full house and giving the loud applauses.

Growing together with my LKDT mates and the troupe.
I hope that the bond between us shld never break even if i shld leave one day
The many other performances else where and the big stage of Victoria Theatre...
I think this is the best part of my life i have ever had.

well... it's a mon today. And shld hav dance at nite.

Me and my frens have been deciding whether to go for dance ltr since yesterday.
Till now then decided: Not to go. Cos we all so lazy. Plus the both of us used a coin to toss and it granted us 'the permission' not to go.. haha we were too bored and LAME....

But to our surprise....

The decision was made by tossing a coin. Head= go Tail= dun go.
We tossed 3 times and guess what? My fren and i had the same exact results:
1) tail
2) head
3) tail
haha so you mo qi...
But we tried again to be extra confirm...

so we tossed 3 times again:
1) head
2) tail
3) tail
Guess what? same results again...
can u believe dat?
It's fated that we shld not go dance today... haha

got angry...
Cos you cared?

got sad...
Cos you cared?

got ur mood low...
Cos you cared?

got hurt...
Cos you cared?

got disappointed...
Cos you cared?

What if...

You are someone else?

What if...

You changed gender?

What if...

You are some really super superstar?

What if...

You are born in a family where your dad's the president or some super rich?

What if...

You are born with some handicap?

What if...

You have super natural powers?

What if...

You cared so much for a person but the person dun even want to care abt u?

What if...

You regretted for something that u did/ no chance to do?

What if...

You only left a day to live?



But there's no what if...
There is only a Yes or No. True or False. Real or Unreal. Dream or Reality.

Well, today is my sec sch speech day...

Why would i go back on a boring speech day which has nothing to do with me?

But since i din go back for almost a yr or so, went back when i was in yr 1... But yr 2 was way too busy... So i decided to go back with 2 of my frens cos my club performing too, long time no see them perform and also to visit some teachers... so might as well...

Their dance wasn't really as strong as my batch's.. Think maybe changed instructor then style also change. Was actually abit disappointed but nvm anyway...

Had a good chat with my fav teacher. She is as usual the pretty one... Never had such a long chat with her before and what's more one to one...

As a student in the sch back then and an ex student of the sch now really makes a difference... Things and people change... Ha everything do change so just face it.

But i really do miss sec sch life other than all the studies and the exams. I missed the ever familiar sch, my frens and some really nice teachers...

The memories were all so beautiful... filled with laughters and tears....

Went for interview today, wore formal.... A hot day....
lucky got a fren staying in the hostel in NUS.. If not i think i dunno how to get to the place of the company...

This is the route of how to get there:
Simei Mrt Station -> Clementi Mrt Station -> Bus 189 -> Internal Shuttle bus -> drop at a stop and walk in -> company.

'Nice long journey' which took an hour plus...

And the interview was also abt an hour... Abit too long? haha...

One funny part in the interview was:
Female interviewer asks some quetions followed by....
Female interviewer: Erm... Is one of ur parents a malay? or?

me: erm... no. I'm a pure chinese.

Female interviewer: Oh ok sorry sorry... Cos u look like malay. so i thought... ~laughs~

Male interviewer: ~laughs~

me: ~laughs~ It's ok... This is not the first time.. Alot of ppl thought i'm a malay too...

Then all: ~laughs~
___________________________________________________________
reached home....
only one word to describe - TIRED!

How can someone's day be as boring as mine?

Boring.

Boringg..

Boringgg...

Boringggg....

Boringgggg.....

Boringggggg......

Boringgggggg.......

Boringggggggg........

Boringgggggggg.........

Boringggggggggg..........

I'm simply BORED!!!!

Ever since i got the call that i hav to go for the SIP interview, i wasn't feeling relax and happy anymore. Before that i din hav anything to worry abt.... Just enjoy the holis since the results were already out and can wait till Apirl 17th to know where i hav been posted for the SIP.

But now, haiz.......

Issit dat i very lousy? then must faster go for interview first then if the company dun wan then can get another. If not i got no company... hahahaha

Well, i got a missed call on my hp.

I was wondering who was calling cos i hav no idea who's the person calling usin the no.

3 mins ltr, the hp rang, now a different no.

i picked up the call, and so scary.....

The sip coordinator called and said i hav to go for interview at a certain company on tues.

Then i went to check, oh my @#$#%$%^! It is damn far. The company is in NUS itself.
Simei -> Clementi leh...

But i cant possibly reject the interview because it is far rite?

Well, it's just an interview, i may not be able to get it anyway.

haha... I took out my photo album and started Looking through.. It had been a very very long time ever since i take it out the last time. Today i look at it, i was laughing at myself... I cant believe that was me with all the different poses... You know when u are a child, u tend to be always happily posing for the camera and do funny poses and u do not even care if it's ugly or not... Been a child is always great i think... But everyone has to grow up eventually. What's left is only the childhood pictures and the memories... And sometimes u'll give a smile when u are thinking abt it...